"Art is not what you see, but what you make others see." Edgar Degas

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Leap of Faith






I've been here before. Three times before to be exact. And each time a part of my life ended and another one started I've had to take a leap of faith to bridge the gap. One danger of taking the leap is that you might fall. Another is that you might not like where you land. So far I've been good on both counts.

The first leap I took was the one that got me here in 1962. I was incredibly lucky to land in a warm incubator of a family filled with the love of my parents and brothers, with lots of support and encouragement. As I was growing up I learned how to draw and write play the guitar. Life has the appearance of passing in a predictable and measurable pattern of minutes, days, and years but I’ve experienced my life in these stages between leaps. By the end of the first stage I was like most young artists: more enthusiasm than ability. Not that there’s anything wrong with enthusiasm. The first stage ended when I went away to college; it lasted 18 years.

I took the second leap in 1980 when I left home for school. I fell in love with the woman who is still by my side, leaping right along with me, and I met the people who would become my life-long friends and artistic collaborators. My brother James is the only friend and collaborator that predates the second stage. During this stage I wrote my first novel, spent a few years writing screenplays, and formed the band Late Model Humans. We recorded some demos and played at CBGBs and The Bitter End and other clubs down in the Village. It was a time of expanding consciousness in a lot of ways. This stage ended when my son was born. It lasted 15 years.

I took the third leap in 1995 when I became a father. It’s an experience so unlike any other that it couldn’t help but change everything about me, including my art. It took a lot of my time and attention, especially in the early days, to see that his own first stage was as enriching and enjoyable as possible. The experiences we shared when he was small took me back to my own childhood and reminded me that limitless options always exist. I wrote three more novels and even got one of them published. I wrote a stage play and that took me back to the dialogue-driven writing of the screenplays. Watching the staged reading of my play filled me with the same kind of excitement I felt when I played onstage with the band. When my novel was published I also felt a rush over the possibility of working as a novelist. There are times when I can barely keep up with the story in my head when I’m writing a novel. It’s like taking dictation. I also got back into writing short stories and was able to get a few of those published as well. My brother and I found a rehearsal studio in 2000 and began renting a space dedicated to our music. We recorded 5 albums worth of original music and some people even listened to it. This stage ended after 18 years.

The fourth leap happened this year. I quit a job I’d worked for 23 years and a band I’d been in for 20. My son went away to college. A lot of space opened up in life. The heaviest lifting of parenthood is probably behind me now (and I'm lucky enough to be the father of a son who only ever required very light lifting). I started a new job in a field that doesn't interest me but even there I've found some new, unexpected sources of confidence and inspiration. This stage will probably last for the next 15-20 years and is most likely the last one that will be very productive. I’ve learned a lot over the last five decades and now intend to harvest whatever seeds I’ve sown over that time. I’m determined to devote myself more fully than I’ve been able to before to creative expression. I wake up each morning before I have to get ready for work and I write. The form of writing varies from novel to song to short story to play to flash fiction and a lot of it will find its way here.

I hope that you will check in with this site from time to time and that you will find something to amuse, intrigue, relax, or inspire you in my Words & Music.

Next up: Flash Fiction Friday.